What is the relational edge?
Welcome to The Relational Edge—a space of becoming. This is a space where change doesn’t happen in isolation, but in relationship.
Let’s start by reflecting on the term ‘relational’ and what becomes possible when we turn our attention to the space between us. We might find this space in a conversation with a colleague or a moment with a loved one.
Instead of focusing on individuals, or even the interactions between people, this perspective asks us to notice what’s unfolding in how we are relating. It builds on ideas from relational and social constructionist thinking, and draws from practices like solution-focused coaching, dialogic change work, and complexity leadership. Attending to the relational space is increasingly essential in today’s world: it helps us navigate complexity, foster meaningful dialogue, and co-create pathways for transformation.
Conversations at the Edge
Martin Buber calls us into this in-between space through what he names I–Thou relationships. Rather than seeing each other as objects or roles—as “it”—Buber invites us to meet here with reverence, presence, and openness. To say ‘Thou’. Like when you pause and see your child or a stranger, not as a task or obstacle, but as part of a sacred encounter.
Buber reminds us that the relationship between humans, other beings, and the world doesn’t reside in me or in you, or even in our interactions. It lives in the space we create together. He writes that in every genuine meeting, we touch the eternal Thou—what some might understand as God. For Buber, deeper meaning is possible in this sacred space between. This is also the heart of social constructionist practice: that we make meaning in relationship. How we attend to the between shapes what becomes possible.
So much of modern life, especially in Western societies, tells us to go it alone. But consider for a minute, what if the transformation we long for is one we can only reach together? Sometimes the most transformative moments happen because something shifts in the relational space between people.
As Buber calls us into the sacredness of presence, Kenneth Gergen asks us how might we live from this place. Gergen urges us not only to honor the sacredness of the I–Thou encounter, but to explore the new possibilities that arise within it. He asks: “What becomes possible when we meet this way?” In his vision of relational being, Gergen reminds us that all meaningful action is co-action. What we do and become is always shaped together.
This blog isn’t here to provide answers. It’s here to wonder. To walk with questions. To both stay with the moment and invite possibility: what becomes possible when we turn toward each other? What if we see this as an ongoing movement of relationality?
Bayo Akomolafe writes:
“The heavens we seek are secreted by our own longings and performative quests for a final, static home… But there is no ‘there’; there is only a yearning, an aching, a struggle for ‘there’—and in the struggle, we change.”
Like Buber, Akomolafe invites us to stay with the longing. Like Gergen, he reminds us that in the ache—in the reaching toward—we are already becoming something new.
What Becomes Possible at the Edge?
Ken Gergen invites us to explore how our conversations can do things in the world. The Relational Edge then becomes not just a place where we meet, but where we create something new together.
For coaches and leaders, this shift is transformative. It invites us to see that change is something we create with others—in shared presence, in listening, in dialogue, and in co-action.
At The Relational Edge, we explore how this space of shared presence invites the co-creation of new futures.
Try This
Next time you’re in conversation—pause. Just for a moment.
Notice not just what’s being said, but what’s unfolding between you.
What shifts when you place your attention there?
What did you feel in your body?
Did the tone of the interaction change?
Was there a spark? A softening? A shift?
What became possible that wasn’t available before?
Resources
I and Thou by Martin Buber (1923)
Relational Being: Beyond Self and Community by Kenneth Gergen (2009)
These Wilds Beyond Our Fences. Letters to My Daughter on Humanity's Search for Home by Bayo Akomolafe (2017)